This is hard.

Sometimes life is hard. Like, really hard. For us therapists too. A lot of people may not know this, but therapists have therapists. There are some therapists who even specialize in working with other therapists. It’s actually in our ethical guidelines to attend therapy. After all, a healthier therapist means a better therapist, more equipped to empathically listen and hold space for your darkest moments. In any case, back to life being hard.

Life can be hard for so many reasons. Maybe you’re not getting along with someone or you’ve had a falling out. Maybe you hate your job/school and wake up dreading the day ahead. Maybe you’re generally unfulfilled and feeling stuck…and you can’t quite figure it out. And then there are those BIG life-changing hard times that shake you to your core. That make you lose balance. You stumble or maybe straight up fall flat on your face. A death. An illness. An accident. A divorce. Something that happens very infrequently—those once-in-a-lifetime “hards.”

I think what makes these hards so hard is that life still goes on. Time doesn’t stop even though it feels like it should. Something so earth-shattering, discombobulating, and confusing has occurred (or is still occurring) yet it’s business as usual. You still wake up at the same time. You still get stuck in traffic. You still hold the door open for strangers who have no idea that your life feels, breathes, and smells weird.

Moveover, these hards are hard because the inherent change is often quite jarring. Someone isn’t around anymore. Someone can’t do what they used to. Your life is fundamentally different, you are wanting it to be the same, yet at the same time, know that it never can or will be.

So, maybe instead of flipping back to page 12 (in our mind or in reality), we can turn the next page, and the next, and continue turning until we make it to the next chapter. This doesn’t mean we don’t mourn the loss—because all big change involves loss and grief of some kind—because doing so is absolutely necessary to healing. But it means we also have to accept the current circumstances and give ourselves permission to wade through the hard. Hand-in-hand with your people.

The cliff notes? Life is hard because change is hard. Change means loss, which means heartbreak. But our people can make it better. And so can stop wishing that life was the same.

That’s all I have for tonight, folks. Sending lots of love no matter the hard you’re facing.

Jackie <3